The next season I see change in Canada, my home and native land, will be autumn. Part of me yearns like the last and every time I come back home. Volver. The Spanish love this concept. Maybe it's a universal. The proverbial returning to the nest to find your room is an office (this doesn't apply to me since I'm an only child and I would NEVER let that happen, but you get the gist). What will become of me?
Meanwhile, in Rancho Sevilla, things are warming up and the trees are in bloom and everything is idyllic, I wonder where I'm going in this life time; where we're all going.
So often I find myself feeling like I've been here before. Not here geographically, but here, in life. Especially in terms of reevaluating what I thought I was looking for or what I thought I wanted to achieve. I know this all sounds vague, and that's okay because that's part of this existential dilemma that I keep finding myself in.
What happens when you are no longer privy to the things you used to use to define yourself? What do you do when you were certain of what life path you were going to take and then you end up taking an entirely different one. Have I ever interpreted this as failure? I'd like to think not. I've always been relatively flexible and readily adaptable to most situations and yet I find myself wanting to, hark!, settle down??? Maybe that's not it, just maybe be in one place again, like I was for the last five years??? Oh the comfort of blissful, ignorant complacency.
The good part is that we have been here before and we did get through it. It's time to put some more metaphorical sheets on the bed and hunker down for the rest of our lives is coming straight down the pipe at warp speed and we never think we're ready even when we are.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
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